R.I.P JESSICA JACKIE VILLANUEVA

I really don't know where to start... I just found out I lost a friend. Its so shocking! Im still just praying its not true.

We shared so many memories and we did alot of dumb things. We were untouchable at 16. We both shared the same views towards our families and our dislike and rebellion for the religion we were raised in. We both headed down the same path and got pregnant at the age of 18. Except that she still kept going... hanging out with the wrong crowd and partying. I can't blame her...she was just a 20 year old trying to have a little fun. I guess she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I haven't seen her in over a year. She was pregnant then, still having me run her up and down the street in my car since she didn't have one yet. We would laugh so hard and just have a good time. We were both boy crazy and made any excuse to go see a guy. We would lie to our parents and go out and have out "covert ops" and call them funny names like "Operation Peach Cobbler" that was the best time. She is still my friend on here and we would leave each other comments once in a while and I even visted her page not that long ago. Its just shocking that she's not here anymore.

It really makes me realize how greatful I am for what I have now and really greatful that I didnt go down the same path. Also it just makes me realize how much my friends mean to me...whether old or new or even if we don't talk so much anymore. I cried the second I heard and I am sure I would with anyone of my friends. I am expecially sad for the family, to loose someone so young. And of course her 1 year old son. He won't know what a great person she was...even though she made some bad desicions. It didnt have to end like that.

REST IN PEACE JACKIE. YOU WILL BE REMEMBERED!

To the NEW YEAR!

Christmas is over! It went by so fast… I had so much fun though. I got everything I wanted… (Which wasn’t much) and so much more! I got a much needed new camera…its very small and sleek, I love it! I of course loved everyone’s reaction to what I got them; it makes me feel good when I know someone truly likes something I bought them. Patrick has been glued to his PSP ever since Christmas Eve (when we opened the presents). I even went to church with Patrick’s family, I felt a little awkward just because in the Catholic churches they repeat things back to the speaker and I couldn’t follow what they were saying. Also I was one of the only people still sitting when everyone went up to get the communion. It wasn’t that bad and I think it would be good to start going regularly for India’s sake. I think it’s good to grow up with religion.

So now it’s on to the New Year!! I am making all kinds of new years resolutions. I am going to start eating healthier and working out regularly. I have gained a lot of weight in the past month or so and I need to loose it before the wedding or even before I go dress shopping. Also a money “diet” I need to stop spending money on things I don’t need, like eating out, which is a big one. And also a cleaning routine, I like to keep our place clean but sometimes it gets messy and I feel like I’m always cleaning hard core, so if we regularly pick up after our selves and not wait for it to be a mess to clean it I think it would work a lot better. Patrick and I are going to sit down and write everything out that we would like to change and make a schedule for everything. Hopefully we stick to it! =)

Anyway, it’s been a crazy year, full of changes and new experiences. I am looking forward to what the New Year is going to bring and I’m so excited for the things I already know are to come!

Happy Holidays!!!

Wow it’s almost Christmas!!! I totally love Christmas, it just makes me feel loved by everyone! I super excited that I get to spend Christmas with the Early family here in Virginia. I am also enjoying learning all that Christmas entails; there is so much I never knew about all the traditions. *** I did not grow up celebrating holidays so I’m sorta new to all this!*** I got a Christmas tree (fake) with lights but its so pretty and I even got festive candles to make my house just smell like Christmas time! I LOVE IT! I love the giving …and the receiving ;) hehee

I’m actually super excited to open my gifts this year because I have no clue what they are so it’s going to be a great surprise. I also love the way ppl light up when they open gifts…it gives me just this warm nice feeling inside! Patrick knows what I got him and is so excited to finally open it up and use it! (shhhh it’s a PSP) It just makes me so happy.

I feel sorry for the JWs of the world who have not gotten to experience this time of year. I guess if you are that strong in your beliefs it shouldn’t matter, I guess that’s why I strayed…I always thought I was missing out on something!

But anyway…no matter what holiday you are (or not) celebrating…Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Eid, or Christmas… Be safe and Be HAPPY!

First snowfall of Winter and my life!

SNOW! It was the first snowfall of Winter the other day! I loved it. It was so pretty! I have never lived anywhere where it snowed before and have only seen it snow once before in my life so this was a big thing for me. =)

I loved how everything looked when all the snow was on the ground...just white and beautiful!!!

See for yourself:

That is what I saw when I woke up that next morning...absolutely beautiful!

Wedding Nightmares!

Its already December...O.M.G where the heck did this year go?!?!

That being said I only have...what...about 6 months to plan this wedding and I have barely done anything!!! I had a nightmare last night that is was already June and I had nothing ready...no one ended up coming and I didn't even know where my wedding was going to be.

Sadly the picture below is no longer available...I had no idea that it would be over a years waiting list. Unless I want to get married on a Thursday, it's not going to happen. However, I do have good news, my co-worker (well actually ex-co-worker cuz she just quit) lives with her parents on a 5 acre lot and has offered her yard for my wedding. That is great for me cuz it cuts a huge cost. I have to come up with a guest list and just start buying things. After I loose at least these last 5 lbs I put on during Thanksgiving I can go dress shopping... I can't wait! I just wish I had all my girls here to go with me.

I'm excited. And if anyone reading this has any ideas for me regarding a wedding I am totally open!!

Thanx! Luv ya guys!

Picture Perfect!

Here is the place I am planning on having the wedding... its the botanical gardens in Vienna, VA

Its really inexpensive too...

I love it... I dont know if I will have the wedding at the gazebo or not but at least its a great photo opp!

Keep this Date!

So I have our wedding date!!! I don't know if this is against whatever wedding planing rules are out there but I am gonna let you guys know... not like many people read this anyway. OK are you ready... June, 21st 2008!!! So if any of you happen to be in Virginia/Washington, DC area come on over.

I'm kinda bummed just for the fact that all my friends are in CA and most aren't going to come. Its going to be a very small but a classy and traditional wedding. Its exciting planning it and everything but overwhelming at the same time just cuz so much goes in to it. I am not gonna spend a ton of money and am cutting costs where I can, with out making it look cheap. We want to go on a cruise to the Caribbean for our honeymoon so we would like to save money on the wedding and spend more on the honeymoon. =) I really can't wait.

Mrs Patrick Ryan Early, Mrs Early, Mrs Katie Louise Early, Katie Early... I LOVE IT! =)

A little update.

So far my new job is pretty good. I process payroll and time sheets for our engineers who are contracted through other companies. It’s a bit hectic but I am finding new ways to make it easier everyday. I am totally broke right now and still waiting on my first paycheck.

I continued to work at Fridays for the first week of my new job but after a 16 hour day I was exhausted!!! I don’t think it really has been worth the effort. I barely make anything in tips and I am super tired at work the next day. I told Fridays not to put me on the schedule and I will just call in if I need a shift or if they need me, they can call me. So far I haven’t been back. I really miss the ppl there tho. I made a few good friends. =)

Not working at Fridays and not getting my first pay check for another two weeks has put us really in the hole. I am so broke. I haven’t paid my car payment that was due on the 25th of last month or my cell phone. =( I got a call from my dad pretty much pissed at me for not paying my car. Its ok tho…as long as I don’t let it go over 30 days I am good. Their credit won’t be effected. I love how my parents only call when they want something. Which is pretty much only when I am a little late on my car payment. They never ask why I am late….they just get mad that I haven’t paid it. …. I need to stop thinking of them. I have a lot of anger inside about them and I really need to let it go. Accept the fact that its not going to get better and that they really shouldn’t matter to me.

On top of all that the new daycare told us that we have two weeks to find a new daycare. =( She just started this daycare and India has really liked it and has been doing so well there. When we found her she had mentioned that she wanted to start her own family… what we didn’t know is that she was going to start it a few weeks after we got her. I guess she has been trying to get pregnant and did the whole fertility thing and now is pregnant with triplets maybe more and she is not even 2 months along and she is already on bed rest! So I have to find a new daycare…AGAIN! I feel bad for having to change things again for India. I always worry when she goes to a new place and I want to always make sure she is being taken care of. Its really hard and very stressful!

Hopefully just 2 more weeks and things will be better! :/

OMG!!!

I went to my interview...I still had the mind set that I really wasn't going to get the job...I was messing up on my application spelling things wrong and everything so I just didn't think it looked good. I went in and had my interview with the general manager and he liked me. He said that they were looking for a receptionist position and if I would like that... I told him that I hadn't had a receptionist job before and I really don't know how comfortable I would be with having a job where I am constantly on the phone and I honestly was looking for more of an administrative position. He was so surprised I was being honest with him and said he did have another position for a project coordinator/ admin assistant. He told me alittle about the job and I said I would be interested. He left and told me that he was going to have the HR manager sit with me and ask me a few questions and she came in and asked a few questions and then told me I had the job!!!

WHOA!!! When does that happen... she said that the position was open and she thought I would be great for it so why look any further. Also it makes a big difference to me and I really want to mention how there were still 4 other ppl sitting in the lobby waiting to interview!!! That shows me that they were not just desperate and wanted just anyone, they just really liked me I guess.

I start Monday!!! Oh and I will be making at least $34k a year and they have great benefits and everything. Flexible work schedules and semi-casual dress!!! I couldn't ask for anything better!!!

Broke!

I am not making near as much as I thought I would at Fridays. Its hard when we can only have 4 tables at a time and when your section only consists of 2 tops. I will make 4 dollars a table which is nothing!!!

I got a phone call from a company who I dont know if I applied to or they say my resume online but they want to interview me for an administrative assistant position that starts at 30k-40k a year!!! I am going to the interview this morning but sadly I dont think I will get it. I know its a bad way to think but for some reason there has always been someone better. If this job doesnt work out I am going to look into the airlines over here. Im a few minutes away from the Dulles airport here and there are a ton of jobs. Plus I really want the benefits of traveling for free. I have some future plans for them that I will get into in another blog. =)

Well...wish me luck, I am on my way!

Welcome to Friday's!

So after my very stressful job hunt I wasn't able to find any office jobs that would hire me as soon as I wanted. So I went with my first choice....Friday's.

I went and I was hired on the spot. I finished all my paper work and am training to be a server on Thursday night. YAY! Its probably going to be a little pay cut but hopefully we will manage. All of the restaurant lingo and just the kitchen atmosphere reminds me of my Disney days. The manager really liked that I came from Disney and I think the knowledge that I took from working there will help me out alot in my new job.

I hope I make good tips!

In other news. Patrick and I are going on a major no spending diet! We spend alot of money on food (i.e. going out, ordering out & take out) but NO MORE! I really want to save for our wedding and hopefully we are planning on maybe...buying a town house after our lease expires in April. We will save up for that live in it for a few years and sell it for hopefully more than we bought it for then move to a house. And if we get a town house we will have a yard and I can get a dog! YAY! So I'm just hoping everything will work out.

Bummed!

I didnt get the job.


... my self esteem dropped a few points... Im stressed!

Trial Day

As my previous blog notes, I was a bit nervous to do my little "trial day" at the job I interviewed for.

I was the first one he (the Dr) interviewed and he said he compared everyone to me and no one measured up...until the last girl. He said that she was equally as great as me. So it was hard so he is trying this trial to see how we get along with him and if he sees something he doesn't like...to make his decision easier.

I loved my day there! All his patients are so nice and I was talking to everyone so out going and personable. I am not usually like that but his office is so open and comfortable that it just came naturally to me. I tend to feed off others energy so it totally worked to my advantage.

He liked everything I did. I didn't make his decision any easier, however the other girl still has to do her trial on Friday. He said he hopes that there is just something she does that rubs him the wrong way so that it can be easier for him. And of course I think the same way. I am still in the running (hehe) but hopefully she slips up on something! Oh and I got my back adjusted...Oh so nice! I needed it!

After that day I know what I will mainly be doing and I know the atmosphere of the office and I love everything about it. I really really really hope I get it!

Head to Head!

I got a call from the Dr just a few minutes ago. He told me that its between me and another girl that he wants to hire. He wants me to come in and work and see how well I am at the job and he is going to do the same with her and then pick who he thinks would be the best at the job!

This stresses me out. I don't know this other girl and how great she is and I'm sure she is more of a people person and I'm just stressed...I feel like I am trying to win a competition... I have to have my A game on and do everything right and not screw it up!

sigh! I'm scared. If I don't get it I am not going to happy. I have waited, he told me that he was confident that he would give me a call back and I really need this job....

Pray for me!

Call me Holly Homemaker

I am out of a job for a few days and promised Patrick that while I am at home I would clean the house and make him dinner and have it ready by the time he comes home. I woke up early yesterday and helped him get India ready for daycare. I took a shower and got dressed for the day, cleaned the house, did 3 loads of laundry, painted my toe nails, plucked my eyebrows, worked out, and made one of the best dinners... jumbo shell pasta stuffed with cheese (ricotta, mozzarella, and Parmesan) and in a tomato basil sauce! I even made garlic bread. I lit a candle on the dinning room table and had everything set out for us.

HE LOVED IT!

It made me feel so great. I felt like I accomplished alot and I really wish I could do that everyday. Patrick also wished that he made enough money so I could stay home. I would love to do something part time at home and stay home and take care of the kids and just get things done and fee accomplished.

I am going to do it all over again today! I just hope that I get a call from the Doctor soon! I really need a job!

Two Weeks Notice

I put my two weeks in at my job...two weeks ago! My job ends on Friday and before today I really hadn't found a job. I was getting super stressed and just annoyed. I am sort of sick of sitting in an office all day and not doing much. I want something a bit more fun but with also a secure income. How the heck was I going to find that. I have been working with a few employment agencies who promise me jobs but end up with nothing.

I was told I was going to get a job at an animal hospital as a receptionist. I thought, "How fun! I love animals, it really can't be all that bad." Well I left work earlier than I planned so I would get there on time and decided to take the toll road since that is much faster and alot less traffic...I wanted to make a good impression by getting to my interview early. I was told by a girl at work that they accept credit cards at the toll booth and I didn't think twice to question it because I have seen that around and she lives near by. Well of course when I come up on the toll booth they don't accept cards and I am told to give them my drivers license and pull off to the side. I was waiting there for a good 5 minutes until they came and got my information and gave me a dumb receipt for $3.50 that I have to pay in 10 days or it goes up $25!!! I was glad I had left early. The road was totally clear for a good 15 miles. Then all of a sudden right before my exit...another dumb toll booth! It said full service so I figured they took cards but I was wrong. This time instead of telling me to pull over to the side they held up a ton of cars who were all pissed off at me and honking just to write me up a receipt for 75 cents!!! Ok so I'm off the toll Rd...thank God! I'm finally in the area and am looking for the street I was supposed to turn at...I go up and down the street a few times and nothing...I didn't see the street at all. It was only a few minutes until my interview so I called the lady...(thinking she'd understand! Come on I've only been in this state a few months) she gave me directions to the place and it so happens that my directions I printed online weren't exactly correct so I was headed in the totally wrong direction. When I got there I was about 10 minutes late and not too happy. Neither was she. The interview went well but then she asked if I am tardy at work and how my attendance is at my current job. I said its good. But then she said what would my current employer say about my tardiness. Well I just got written up about it (didn't tell her that) so I'm guessing it wouldn't be too good. Oh well...it was way too far anyway!

I left feeling that it didn't go to well...plus as I was leaving I saw a lady pull up crying and pulling a dead pet out of her trunk! I don't think I could have dealt with that anyway. I was so stressed when I left. I didn't want to work there but where would I work!?!?!

As soon as I got back to work I went on Craigslist.com...I have been on the site almost everyday looking for new posts for jobs. The first one I saw was: "If you're looking for a fun place to work with almost no stress, this is it. Answer phones, schedule appointments, call insurances, and help out with some physical therapy modalities. This really is an easy job and laid back environment, and you must be able to laugh. This is not you're typical doctor's office." (by the way the job was for a Chiropractic Assistant/ Front Desk) That sounded too good to be true but I sent my resume anyway. About 5 minutes later I get a call asking me to come in for an appointment! And on top of that it is right down the street from where I currently work and that would be perfect since Patrick and I only have one car!

Fast forward one day... I show up not knowing what to expect. The doctor was at the front desk and welcomed me in and off the bat was just super nice. He interviewed me and made sure I can handle the fun environment and he said they joke around alot and not to take things personally or get offended easily by things him or his patents may say. I am totally fine with that! He said I would not be paid hourly but be paid Salary and I would be paid for 40 hours a week even though we only work 32 hours a week. HOW AWESOME IS THAT! He said he goes on vacation alot and when he is on vacation I am on vacation and I am paid for all that time as well! He said he will pay for my Starbucks in the morning and breakfast. We talked for awhile longer just about everything I would be doing and I loved everything I heard. He told me that I was the first one he had interviewed. He said he had a few more interviews today and tomorrow but he is confident that I will be hired!!! YAY! I really hope no one nicer comes along and he still likes me. I think this job would be great!!! I really cant wait to hear back...Its like an answer to my prayers!

CROSS YO FINGAS!

Something old, something new, something barrowed, something blue and a sixpence in her shoe.

So there's my ring! Isn't it just b-e-a-u-tiful! It wasn't too much of a surprise since I went with him to pick it out. I love it tho!

I know this is supposed to be really exciting for me, and it is, I just keep thinking about how things will go from here. Nothing in my life has gone right. I never celebrated my birthday until 2 years ago and never had my own party or really anything my own. No special day or anything remotely close. So my whole life I just wanted my wedding day to be my special day. I don't need anything big but I really want to do everything traditionally. I want an engagement party, take engagement photos, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, wedding, reception... the whole thing!

We still don't know what Patrick wants to do as far as the military goes. More and more I think about it I get scared. I wish there was an easier way. But if he does join we will have to be married and we will most likely do it at a court since we most likely won't have time or money to plan anything. He said I can have my wedding later but I really don't think it will be as special and why would we spend money on it later when we are all ready married? All of that just makes me sad. I don't want to be so selfish but really this is supposed to be the most important day in a girls life and I have known how I wanted it to go since I was a little girl. I guess we will just see how things go...

Also, lately I have been thinking about how men cheat. Patrick promises me that he never will, but can you truly know that for sure. I have luckily ever had a boyfriend cheat on me. I don't think I could take it. My self esteem really isn't high at all and I cant imagine it being too much lower. I have a friend who was with her boyfriend for about the same time Patrick and I have been together and he ended up cheating on her. Were there signs? Was their relationship fine up until that point? He really seemed to genuinely love her so if baffles my mind why he would cheat on her. It seems like cheating plays a big role in a lot of marriages ending. That scares me. How do you know? I don't want to not trust Patrick and turn him away but is it really safe to fully trust him??? I never want to get divorced...I really don't consider it an option so this marriage thing is really big to me and is starting to make me a bit nervous!

Army Wife?!?!

So here's the deal.

Patrick's been wanting to join the military. He has talked about it all through are relationship but is now very adamant about it. He first looked at joining the Marines and we went down to talk to a recruiter but then when he told the recruiter that he needed time to think about it and the guy got mad at him and even hung up on him. That and his brother's experience with the Marines, sort of turned him off to that option. We went to his parents with his idea and they were a bit surprised but can see why he would want to and recommended the Air Force. He did some research and liked what he saw and tried to get hold of a recruiter. There he found his problem... the guy is never in the office and never answers his phone. They are down sizing and not interested in helping anyone right now.

He then went to the army. They had the job he wanted (cryptologist linguist) and are offering a $20k sign on bonus ...if he leaves for boot camp by the end of September!!! We will also have to get married before he signs up so that India and I get his benefits while he is away.

I'M SCARRED!!!! That means that so many things will happen in just ONE month. If he does decide on joining, like I said we will have to be married. We plan on doing something small here at a court just to get it legalized and then I can plan something bigger when he is gone. I am kinda excited about that part. I love him and can't wait to marry him. He would go to MEPS (where people sign up to become soldiers), take the ASVAB and then the DLAP (test to determine if he is capable to learn another language) and if he does well on that he can get his job as a cryptologist linguist. He would leave at the latest September 29th and leave for 9 weeks to boot camp. His parents, India and I would be able to go to his graduation ceremony and then he would be sent to California, Monterey to go to a language institute there when he will begin training on learning another language. One I got things here squared away they would send India and I to Monterey to live with Patrick.

I am excited about the Monterey part. I cant wait to be back in CALI even if its in Monterey its still only hours in a car rather than on a plane. He would be at the school for 2 years, not sure if he would be deployed during that time but I guess I will have to expect it. I don't know how I will manage with out him but I think it might be beneficial for me so I can gain some Independence, since I rely alot on Patrick.

Even though all of this really scares me right now, I think its going to end well. Patrick will be able to move on from this with alot more than he came in with. He will have security clearance for jobs he would want in the government and a college degree. (Automatically gets an AA with the completion of the language school). I said to him that I support anything he does and in four years from now we don't know where we will be whether good or bad but if he does join we know he will at the least have an AA and security clearance and many more experiences that he would have never been able to get with out joining.

My path changes

Sadly to say my school idea didn't work out. I actually followed through with everything and took my assessment tests and even signed up for classes. The one thing that I didn't realize was that since I have not been in this state for a year I am charged an out of state fee for every class. I was charged over $700 for just one class!!! I just can't at this time. I feel like I am not able to save money at all and actually find myself barely making it at times. I just have to wait about 8 more months and I will sign up again.

It really annoys me that I cant even go to school because I font have enough money. I want to get married but how are we going to pay for a ring or even a wedding. I don't have family to help with that... I am thinking about getting a second job in place of starting school but I am already worn out with my current job I have no clue how I would stand another.

I'M STRESSED!!!

Patrick really doesn't know what he wants to do either. He finds something than changes his mind. I love him to death and I love that everything he thinks to do just has India and my best interest and I know he really tries but its just stressful. I don't know what's going on.

I feel as though my life is at a stand still and I am not too happy about it. My job sucks but I cant seem to find a way to change it. I am in a rut with money but again I don't see a way that will work to make more. There are obviously ways that will change these things but to factor in India, that we only have one car, my lack of a college degree, my non flexible hours at work and a few other things, my options are limited.

I have made a few more friends at work and am happy with that. I have both Kathleen and Adriana here and it is great to have ppl here I know. Some other girls at work are trying to take me out and give me time to have fun. Its nice I just don't want to loose sight of what I really need to do.

I almost had a breakdown last week and its been really hard. I have however, started drawing and painting more to keep my mind occupied on other things than my problems right now. And of course blogging helps too!

I hate being sick!

So I am sick at home, I haven't had too much time to keep this updated so I will do my best right now.

I have had so many things on my mind. I have also been keeping busy with some friends and just life things.

First of all there are two amazing girls that I used to work with a few years ago at Disneyland that are here in Virginia. I am so happy that I have them here because I would be so lonely with out them. I really didn't know these two girls too well when I worked with them but I am so happy that I have gotten this opportunity to...they are truly nice people. I found out that because of all the drama that happened when I got pregnant and since I was not there to tell everyone the truth, they heard things from someone else. I cannot believe all the things that were said about me. I don't blame Adriana and Kathleen for not knowing what to think of me at first but it really hurt the things they really though of me just from this dumb person spreading lies so he can get people to feel bad for him. It sucks to think that there are probably people who think those things about me when they haven't gotten the chance to get the real story.

If you haven't already guessed who the person spreading the lies is...its Joey (India's sperm donor). I have done all I am going to do with him. He has called up my friends trying to get information from them about what I am doing and he won't even call me and just ask. He doesn't show that he really cares for his daughter but wants pictures so he can go show people and get responses back like; "Oh you are such a good father" or "She looks just like you" or even "Your baby's mama is such a bitch for taking your daughter away from you"...all of which is bull shit. I have tried to work things out with him and I have no problem with him in her life. I just would like him to help support her also. He has only given me $150 in the last 6 or 7 months. I was very appreciative of the money he did send and we spent it all on new clothes for India. But when he calls up and says that he cant pay me more because he is broke... and then turns around and tells my friend that he is going to Vegas on vacation and can pay for it now because he has a better job now. We can obviously see where his priorities are!

Just an update!

So not too much is going on but I still wanted to write a blog so I am updating this page on a regular basis.

Work: right now it really sux! I go to work and don't know what I am doing. I am always getting traded off in different departments and end up doing dumb tedious stuff and it makes my day go by so slow. I really need to find a new job if it doesn't get better. I really want to take my manager's job. She is dumb and its super easy and I keep suggesting things to her to make things a bit more organized and not misplacing ppls things but she never takes my advice. Oh well... I am on the hunt!

Personally: I still have no real friends in VA. It sux. I think I'm at least ok to hang out with. I just want to have fun and have ppl over and have some drink and play some poker. Its really hard to like this place with no friends. I am starting at NOVA (northern VA community college) in the fall and I can't wait! I hope to meet some new people and learn alot more. I have never been to college and I know its just community college but I am super excited.

Patrick and I are still good. We just passed our 1 year together. I love him so much and I really want to get married. I have been excited and kinda eager lately cuz we have been talking about it more, even his mom brings it up and wants to take me dress shopping but still no ring. I know we are kinda tight on money right now so I can understand why he is waiting. I think I bug him about it too much tho and I really need to tone it down abit before he changes his mind. HEHEHE...

Physically: BLAH! My smoothie idea didn't work out too well. Why does everything taste better when someone else makes it? I have been trying to cut back on alot tho. I am not putting mayo on my sandwiches and really cutting down on cheese. I am so exhausted from work and taking care of India by the time I get to work out I am too tired. Its not working too well but I am still hopeful. I do feel like I am eating better tho.

I want a make over! I really need to get my eyebrows done, they need some shape to them. Not too skinny or anything but more like...

that. I wish I had a girl friend to go with tho ya know? I don't even know where good places are to go get them done. I also want to get my hair done. After looking at some pictures of me and seeing my hair from behind it wasn't pretty. It looks just dead and the blond from before is showing through so I need to do something about it. I really want to go for a Jennifer Garner look. Such as...

I want it to grow more too. I feel like my hair is on a stand still. I miss my porno hair! I guess I will just have to wait.

Sweet Tooth!

If you really know me, you must know that I have a huge sweet tooth! So for me its really hard to diet with out something sweet. I am not huge or anything but I would like to loose a few stubborn pounds. I have come to the conclusion that the best way for me to do this with my sweet tooth is SMOOTHIES!

I went to the store yesterday and got all the things I need for my smoothies. I bought a brand new blender a few weeks ago (mainly for my margaritas lol). I bought some not fat vanilla yogurt, bunch of bags of frozen fruit and I didn't buy it yesterday but I plan on getting some whey protein to add to my smoothies. I plan on replacing two of my meals (breakfast and lunch) with smoothies and then eating a sensible dinner. I am also going to start doing my tae-bo.

Ok but that's not even my point in this blog, I really wrote it to tell you all what else I got at the store. Since I am not really starting my diet until Monday I decided to grab some ice cream since I have been craving it for so long. I opened the freezer door at the store in the Ben and Jerry's isle and there it was...

OMG!!! I love Cinnamon rolls or anything that tastes like it...so I thought what better than ice cream that tastes like cinnamon rolls. I don't know if you can read it in the picture but it is... Carmel ice cream with cinnamon bun dough and cinnamon streusel swirls. I was sorta hesitant that it would be too much and not that great but I took it home anyway. I got it out not too long after I got home and fell in love with the first bite. It taste just like cinnamon rolls but ice cream! I am in love and just thought you'd like to know. hehehe...

I recommend this to anyone who loves sweets like I do!

Camping at the Lake!

So I went on a vacation...something I really haven't done in a long while. Patrick's family gets together every year and goes to Tennessee to South Holston Lake and camps. Patrick's dad just bought a new ski boat and got to take it out for the first time on the lake! I had never really been on a lake in a boat or anything so it was really exciting for me! I think I might even like it better than the beach, there is no nasty sand that gets everywhere, the water is cleaner and not all salty, and it wasn't too cramped like a lot of beaches get, plus I think there is a lot more you can do on a lake than on a beach.

I tried to water ski but even though it looks so easy its pretty hard to get up the first time. You need a lot of muscle in your legs to keep the skis together. I was also slung around on an inner-tube and some sorta float thing pulled by the boat, that was so fun even when it went to fast that we got thrown off! I got enough bruises and scrapes and a sunburn to show for it too!

India had a blast too! I got to meet more of Patrick's family and I really feel apart of it...I LOVE IT! I couldn't ask for anything better!

Here are some pics:

The boat:



Being pulled by the boat with Patrick and India:

Attempting to Ski:



The sunset on the drive there:



At the camp site:



India playing in the water:



Patrick jumping off Rock Island:



India tired out from a day on the lake with Colleen:



Patrick and I alittle burnt:





That's all for now. I have to get more Pics from his parents and sister and I will most likely be posting those on myspace soon! Take Care!

Welcome to my blog...Please enjoy!

Welcome to my new blog! I know I have a Myspace and all but my blog on there has gotten a bit down so I decided to start fresh!

I guess I should start off with a little about me. I am a young mom who just moved to Virginia from California with the love of my life Patrick. I am having a harder time than I thought but I am trying to find the best of it all. I just met Patrick's parents and sister when I moved here and they have been my family and that is so nice since I really never felt that before.

My daughter is named India, and she is a very extraordinary two year old. She is my everything and more. She is so adorable and smart and caring, I think its a huge reflection of me and I am so proud. Everything I do, I do for her.

Right now I am working in small part of a moving company called Capital Records (No not the record label). I am still on the fence with my job but I really see how I can grow in the company and I am focusing on learning more. I plan on going to Community College here in VA to get a degree as a graphic artist. I feel that when I accomplish that I will have finally met a huge life goal.

I am a mother, a student, a hard worker, I'm in love and just trying to enjoy my "new" life.