Army Wife?!?!

So here's the deal.

Patrick's been wanting to join the military. He has talked about it all through are relationship but is now very adamant about it. He first looked at joining the Marines and we went down to talk to a recruiter but then when he told the recruiter that he needed time to think about it and the guy got mad at him and even hung up on him. That and his brother's experience with the Marines, sort of turned him off to that option. We went to his parents with his idea and they were a bit surprised but can see why he would want to and recommended the Air Force. He did some research and liked what he saw and tried to get hold of a recruiter. There he found his problem... the guy is never in the office and never answers his phone. They are down sizing and not interested in helping anyone right now.

He then went to the army. They had the job he wanted (cryptologist linguist) and are offering a $20k sign on bonus ...if he leaves for boot camp by the end of September!!! We will also have to get married before he signs up so that India and I get his benefits while he is away.

I'M SCARRED!!!! That means that so many things will happen in just ONE month. If he does decide on joining, like I said we will have to be married. We plan on doing something small here at a court just to get it legalized and then I can plan something bigger when he is gone. I am kinda excited about that part. I love him and can't wait to marry him. He would go to MEPS (where people sign up to become soldiers), take the ASVAB and then the DLAP (test to determine if he is capable to learn another language) and if he does well on that he can get his job as a cryptologist linguist. He would leave at the latest September 29th and leave for 9 weeks to boot camp. His parents, India and I would be able to go to his graduation ceremony and then he would be sent to California, Monterey to go to a language institute there when he will begin training on learning another language. One I got things here squared away they would send India and I to Monterey to live with Patrick.

I am excited about the Monterey part. I cant wait to be back in CALI even if its in Monterey its still only hours in a car rather than on a plane. He would be at the school for 2 years, not sure if he would be deployed during that time but I guess I will have to expect it. I don't know how I will manage with out him but I think it might be beneficial for me so I can gain some Independence, since I rely alot on Patrick.

Even though all of this really scares me right now, I think its going to end well. Patrick will be able to move on from this with alot more than he came in with. He will have security clearance for jobs he would want in the government and a college degree. (Automatically gets an AA with the completion of the language school). I said to him that I support anything he does and in four years from now we don't know where we will be whether good or bad but if he does join we know he will at the least have an AA and security clearance and many more experiences that he would have never been able to get with out joining.

My path changes

Sadly to say my school idea didn't work out. I actually followed through with everything and took my assessment tests and even signed up for classes. The one thing that I didn't realize was that since I have not been in this state for a year I am charged an out of state fee for every class. I was charged over $700 for just one class!!! I just can't at this time. I feel like I am not able to save money at all and actually find myself barely making it at times. I just have to wait about 8 more months and I will sign up again.

It really annoys me that I cant even go to school because I font have enough money. I want to get married but how are we going to pay for a ring or even a wedding. I don't have family to help with that... I am thinking about getting a second job in place of starting school but I am already worn out with my current job I have no clue how I would stand another.

I'M STRESSED!!!

Patrick really doesn't know what he wants to do either. He finds something than changes his mind. I love him to death and I love that everything he thinks to do just has India and my best interest and I know he really tries but its just stressful. I don't know what's going on.

I feel as though my life is at a stand still and I am not too happy about it. My job sucks but I cant seem to find a way to change it. I am in a rut with money but again I don't see a way that will work to make more. There are obviously ways that will change these things but to factor in India, that we only have one car, my lack of a college degree, my non flexible hours at work and a few other things, my options are limited.

I have made a few more friends at work and am happy with that. I have both Kathleen and Adriana here and it is great to have ppl here I know. Some other girls at work are trying to take me out and give me time to have fun. Its nice I just don't want to loose sight of what I really need to do.

I almost had a breakdown last week and its been really hard. I have however, started drawing and painting more to keep my mind occupied on other things than my problems right now. And of course blogging helps too!

I hate being sick!

So I am sick at home, I haven't had too much time to keep this updated so I will do my best right now.

I have had so many things on my mind. I have also been keeping busy with some friends and just life things.

First of all there are two amazing girls that I used to work with a few years ago at Disneyland that are here in Virginia. I am so happy that I have them here because I would be so lonely with out them. I really didn't know these two girls too well when I worked with them but I am so happy that I have gotten this opportunity to...they are truly nice people. I found out that because of all the drama that happened when I got pregnant and since I was not there to tell everyone the truth, they heard things from someone else. I cannot believe all the things that were said about me. I don't blame Adriana and Kathleen for not knowing what to think of me at first but it really hurt the things they really though of me just from this dumb person spreading lies so he can get people to feel bad for him. It sucks to think that there are probably people who think those things about me when they haven't gotten the chance to get the real story.

If you haven't already guessed who the person spreading the lies is...its Joey (India's sperm donor). I have done all I am going to do with him. He has called up my friends trying to get information from them about what I am doing and he won't even call me and just ask. He doesn't show that he really cares for his daughter but wants pictures so he can go show people and get responses back like; "Oh you are such a good father" or "She looks just like you" or even "Your baby's mama is such a bitch for taking your daughter away from you"...all of which is bull shit. I have tried to work things out with him and I have no problem with him in her life. I just would like him to help support her also. He has only given me $150 in the last 6 or 7 months. I was very appreciative of the money he did send and we spent it all on new clothes for India. But when he calls up and says that he cant pay me more because he is broke... and then turns around and tells my friend that he is going to Vegas on vacation and can pay for it now because he has a better job now. We can obviously see where his priorities are!